i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need water and some morals
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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