Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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