He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My balls are so social today.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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