fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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