he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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