Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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