god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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