is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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