he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
