i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
