I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
