2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
