She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
