JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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