I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
