That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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