I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
