Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
