Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
