WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize