Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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