I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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