the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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