Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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