I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
