I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
