Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
