She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
