meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize