Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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