I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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