He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
