Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
