I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
