I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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