oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
