Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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