he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
