Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
