You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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