I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
