Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
thus making me awesome and them whores
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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