how can u be prego again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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