ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
