No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
