glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
