Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
