Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
