he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
