Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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