I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
