Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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