Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
