there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I love having hate sex.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
