The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
