you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
