what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize