We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize