he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
