can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
