Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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